


Let your fantasies unwind

by raging_fire



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mates, POV Cassian (ACoTaR), POV Nesta Archeron, Romantic Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension, cassian teases her about it, nesta is flustered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-15 14:17:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15414828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raging_fire/pseuds/raging_fire
Summary: After finally accepting the mating bond, Nesta feels all sorts of things for Cassian that she doesn't dare to voice yet. Cassian notices her staring at him half-naked during his training, so he decides to tease her a bit on the night of a famous Illyrian celebration, but not before showing her a secret place.Sexual tension. Flustered Nesta. Cocky Cassian. Alone in the woods. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

 

_"nighttime sharpens,_   
_heightens each sensation._   
_darkness stirs and wakes imagination."_

_\- Phantom of the Opera_

 

 

Nesta was staring at him.

 

She had been staring at him for so long that she was surprised he didn't notice; or maybe he did, but chose not to say anything. No need to add to her already growing embarrassment.

 

The harsh winds wiped her face, making her tighten her warm cloak around her. It was near sunset, although there was no sun in sight -- the sky had been cloudy for days now and threatened to rain any minute now. Even after all this time, it was still hard to adjust to the harsh conditions in the Illyrian Steppes.

 

They, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind the cold. Nesta tried and failed to read the documents before her as one of the best Illyrian units trained not far away from her, managing to catch her attention like a snare. Their shouts and groans were savage and barbaric, their moves lethal and precise as a viper's. Nesta watched as a soldier fell on his front and another had him pinned under him -- muscles tense, body sweaty, muffled swears. Every time they threw a punch or raised a sword, Nesta admired the way their muscled bodies tensed and how they fell prey to their instincts. There was a certain primitive air around them that fascinated her.

 

Another shout, followed short by an arrogant snicker, made her grit her teeth. Cassian emerged victorious from yet another duel, his opponent splayed on his back with a sword to his exposed throat, teeth bared in a threatening way. The others didn't stop their training to watch; it came as no surprise that Cassian bested him.

 

To her surprise, Cassian lowered his sword and helped the male up, showing him the flaws in his defence and practicing the moves again. There was approval and admiration in the male's eyes as he followed his example, and at the end of their training he nodded his head in gratitude.

 

Nesta was bent on returning to her papers, but as her traitorous eyes watched Cassian's honed body, he stopped.

 

And looked straight at her, a devilish smile playing on his face.

 

She gathered her papers in a haze and stood from the table, hurrying for the small house she stayed in. Of course he would notice her right in that moment. He was probably preparing his endless comments right now, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and mess with her head.

 

The papers were forgotten on the kitchen table as she made some hot tea. From the small window, she could see Cassian resuming his training, although Nesta sensed the typical male smirk plastered on his face had nothing to do with the males surrounding him.

 

With an exasperated sigh, Nesta fell into a chair and covered her face with her cold hands. Gods, how long ago did she acknowledge their mating bond and admitted how much she liked him? "Liked" was putting in mildly, but she had no intention of boosting his ego.

 

That day was forever etched in her mind, a part of her that she would never let go. They were on a visit to the human realms, Nesta's second one as an official Emissary of the Night Court. Feyre insisted for Cassian to accompany her, and though she protested in private as much as she could, Feyre told her that he needed to be away, too. At first, Nesta was confused. _Away from what?_ she asked.

 

It occurred to her later that Cassian needed time away from all the court politics and drama that bloomed from the Hewn City. If he went there, he would lay waste on them without thinking twice and be done with it.

 

Her sister and Rhysand had other plans, so they send the two of them away.

 

She confessed to him on their sixth night away, right in the middle of a banter and surprised them both. Shocked and terrified at the same time, Nesta wanted to run away, but she didn't. No more running. With her heart in her throat, she watched as Cassian's expression shifted from confusion to shock to disbelief, thinking that she was probably messing with him. When he noticed the tears in the corner of her eyes, Cassian finally understood. And almost killed her with his bear hug, tears of happiness and words that made her heart flutter with hope and something more.

 

" _Do you mean it? Are you sure? Gods, I thought that... I didn't think this would actually happen. I was afraid to even bring it up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry--"_

 

It took her so freaking long to get him to shut up and understand that yes, she wanted him, and no, it was not a joke. His joy was so bright and pure that it set her soul on fire.

 

Since that delirious night, they spent most of their free time together, even if just for a few minutes. On occasional nights when they were both tired and drained, they slept together (not together, just in the same bed) and started the morning with sleepy, feather-like kisses and, of course, arguments. Lighthearted as they were, Cassian still managed to rile her up with just a few words and looks.

 

She knew tonight would be the same.

 

It was a rather big, traditional celebration for Illyrians. Catch? It was only for the mates. Double catch? Nesta was invited, too.

 

Mostly out of courtesy for their Commander, but still... it unnerved her, to be surrounded by so many mated Illyrians and take part in their celebrations. Cassian told her that if she didn’t want to, she could just say so and they would do something else. But of course she’d go.

 

Now she started to regret her decision a bit.

 

Sighing, Nesta stood up and went to take a bath and prepare. Only an hour before the celebrations start and she was nowhere near ready.

* * *

 

He was going out of his fucking mind.

 

Panting and grunting, Cassian disarmed another soldier and threw him to the ground, managing not to do more damage than that. He called off the training session, sheathed his sword and flew into the skies, towards the nearest spring he could find. Kneeling next to the cold water, Cassian swore as he washed his face and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

_That female will be the death of me,_ he said in his mind, plunging his hands in the freezing water.

 

Of course he’d noticed her watching them train. Every time her gaze fell on him and felt her desire (although Nesta would never, ever admit that) Cassian’s own would grow, too. All he saw were those exquisite eyes drinking him in, those full lips parted in silent wonder and her delicate hands clenching either the table or a pen. Either way, it made him think of certain parts he’d like her to grasp.

 

But when she started watching the other males fight... Cauldron boil him, he thought he’d choke on his lust and jealousy at the same time. Just as she would never admit that she was mesmerised by seeing all of them half naked and fighting, Cassian would never admit how jealous he was in those moments.

 

Part of him was blaming it on the celebrations that took place today and for the fact that they hadn’t had the chance to spend much time together lately. Having a mate and not being near her, especially in the first months, was excruciating and just cruel. Especially for him, who could be quite needy at times.

 

So he got up and took a deep breath, then flew back to the camp where the celebrations would soon begin. All he needed was to be around her, and maybe, just maybe...

 

... tease her just a bit about her obvious attraction.

 

* * *

 

 

An hour and a half later the celebrations were in full bloom. Bonfires were lit in the camp’s centre and tables were filled with food that smelled delicious. Twinkling faelights had been hanged on the posts and some females made their mates climb all the nearby trees and hang some of them there, too. The sound of music and laughter filled the once-shallow camp, promising a night full of partying and dancing. Enthralled by it all, Nesta stood on the side and watched dozens of mates arrive from all the Illyrian camps and how they greeted each other. She noticed how most of them were young — probably not even warriors yet. To her relief, none of the females had clipped wings, and none were being treated harshly; no, on the contrary. Their mates were all over them, offering them food and drinks and making them laugh. It was such a rare sight that it made her smile.

 

It seemed that not even the brash Illyrian warriors could resist love.

 

Her eyes searched for her own mate, not knowing exactly what to do or where to sit. A nearby group of females chatted merrily, discussing about the shifts in their mates’ behaviour during such a celebration.

 

“It’s like we just mated all over again,” one of them admitted with a dreamy sigh. “Having sex with an attractive male is good. Having sex with an Illyrian is sensational. But having sex with an Illyrian who’s also your mate and loves you? Good gods, have mercy on my body,” she laughed, the others joining her.

 

Nesta almost choked.

 

She ignored her nervousness and went to one of the tables to get a drink. She gulped in down immediately, then tried to calm her racing heart.

 

Oh, how much she thought about that part. Watching him today didn’t help, either; it made her lust grow, needing him even more than usual.

 

“There you are,” a familiar voice said, surprising her. “I was wondering if I’d find you here.”

 

Before she had the chance to reply, Cassian’s hands went around her waist and pulled her to him, planting a kiss on her cheek. Even the contact made her blood boil.

 

Their eyes met and Cassian gave her a big, goofy smile. He wasn’t wearing his flying leathers, but more simple, elegant clothes. A rare occasion indeed.

 

“You thought I’d be hiding under some rock?” She joked, trying not to let it show how jumpy she was.

 

“No. I thought you’d be spitting fire and threatening people. Apparently I was wrong.”

 

She laughed and delighted in the way he gently squeezed her hips and pulled her closer. For a moment, there was just the two of them — staring into each other’s eyes, confessing their love with a simple, meaningful look, forgetting everything about the rest of the world.

 

Until his Illyrian friends popped that bubble.

 

“Cassian! Come here and tell us all about that fight with the nagas!”

 

Thankfully, they distracted Cassian long enough for Nesta to gather herself. She leaned on a wall and nursed her drink while he talked with his comrades, not wanting to take any part in that. Being in close proximity with him was enough — being surrounded by males everywhere was a trial.

 

She was about to grab something to eat when his attention shifted back to her, wondering what she was doing. Shrugging, Nesta picked out an apple and took a bite.

 

One of his friends said something to him but he just nodded his head, eyes on her. A small smile played on her lips as she leaned back on the wall, crossing her arms so that part of her cleavage would show.

 

Let him watch her, too.

 

A different sort of excitement flooded her body when he finished his drink in one gulp and walked towards her, his steps firm and sure. There was a look of determination on his face that was still new to her.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” she drawled, taking another bite from her apple. “You looked kind of busy.”

 

He stopped one feet away from her, although she had the feeling that it wasn’t where he wanted to be.

 

“Just like you were today with those papers, right?” He smirked, showing his pointy canines. “You either think I’m blind or stupid, because I noticed you watching me the whole time.”

 

He took a step forward, almost touching her. Nesta stopped breathing.

 

“I also got the most delicious feelings from you.”

 

A shiver ran down her spine when he took one lock of her hair and twirled it around his finger, his eyes never leaving hers. Gods help her.

 

“Too bad I couldn’t get in your head and see what you were thinking of me. What were we doing, sweetheart? Was it there, right in the middle of all those males you were also gawking at, or somewhere where only I could hear you?”

 

Mother save her. Embarrassed and shocked that he knew, that idiot knew what she was doing, Nesta was momentarily lost. Never, never in her life has she been in such a situation.

 

But this was Cassian, and he knew her like the back of his hand; so she didn’t panic when he took that final step and circled her waist with his hands, leaning his forehead on hers. Her heart was beating so damn fast.

 

“How bad do you want me?” He whispered, bringing his lips close to her ear. “Do you know bad I want you?”

 

She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. His lips barely grazed her cheek before he pulled away for a second.

 

“Your face is heating up. Is it something I said?” He asked innocently.

 

“You certainly do have a death wish,” she puffed with indignation. “I’m not in a gaming mood, Cassian. I actually have a lot of paperwork to do so I’m just going to— _CASSIAN!”_

 

Her upcoming insults were swallowed by a scream as Cassian raised her in his arms and shot to the skies faster than an arrow. A few Illyrians looked at them with amusement, then returned to their activities.

 

“ _What the fuck?”_ She almost screamed in his face, holding onto him for dear life.

 

“Oh come on, let’s live a little!” He laughed as he took a dip, making Nesta squeal a bit. “Don’t tell me you don’t trust me.”

 

“I think I trust you a bit too much,” she mumbled, burying her face in the crook of his neck and refusing to open her eyes again.

 

All she could hear was the booming of his wings and the cold wind. Cassian kissed the top of her head, then flew in the opposite direction of the camp.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“I want to show you a place,” was his only reply.

 

Even though Nesta insisted, Cassian didn’t say anything else. Not even when she brought her lips to his neck and kissed him, knowing just how much he loved it.

 

“You... really don’t like surprises, don’t you?” He asked huskily.

 

Nesta smiled, nuzzling his neck.

 

“I despise them with all my heart.”

 

Cassian laughed, then dipped again.

 

“I had a feeling you’d say that. You can open your eyes now, we’re here.”

 

Nesta did — and gasped.

 

“Where...” she started, then forgot whatever she wanted to say.

 

Cassian placed her on the ground and she almost stumbled. Before her was a shining lake covered in waterlilies, with fireflies flying above its surface. The trees, taller and older than those surrounding the camp, were full of small colourful lights, creating a full spectrum of colours that bathed the whole place in an eerie yet enchanting light. Before the shore of the lake, right between two oak trees, a camp site was assembled — if that could be called a campsite.

 

She took a few steps towards it and took in all the lit candles, comfortable mattresses, fluffy pillows blankets. There was also a basket full of food near it, along with a change of clothes for both of them. At that, she raised her eyebrows.

 

Cassian appeared behind her and kissed her bare neck, awakening something deep inside her.

 

“I found this place when I was young and lived in the outskirts of the camp. I came here whenever I could to swim and find peace; you didn’t find any of those things back there. It became my haven for such a long time, that I wanted to share it with you.”

 

His voice was so soft and full of emotion that it made her eyes sting a bit. All of this, for her.

 

For her.

 

“It’s exquisite,” she admitted, admiring the magical scenery. “Cass, you didn’t have to...”

 

“Oh, I did. I can hardly spend any time alone with you.”

 

Nesta turned in his arms and took in his handsome face.

 

“I didn’t...” he stumbled over his own voice, something truly rare. “I didn’t bring you here for that, if that’s what you were thinking. I just want to stay with you here for a while.”

 

The fact that he felt the need to ensure her that made Nesta laugh, which made him relax a little. But before she could say anything, a devilish smirk appeared on his face, one that promised nothing but trouble.

 

Her smile faded instantly.

 

Cassian took a step back and unbuttoned his shirt slowly, watching her face the whole time.

 

“W-What are you doing?” She asked, unsure.

 

He took it off and threw it on the mattress, then worked open his pants too. Nesta was sure her face was a striking shade of red.

 

“Let’s go for a swim, sweetheart.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me longer than I expected but here it is! Feedback is always welcome (especially since I’m not well versed in the arts of writing smut) :) 
> 
> Explicit content ahead. Things are getting spicy between these two.

_“floating, falling,_  
_sweet intoxication,_  
_touch me, trust me,_  
_savor each sensation.”_  
  
_— Phantom of the Opera_

 

 

“Hell no.”

 

Cassian rolled his eyes as he took off his leather pants and threw them with his shirt. Nesta gulped.

 

“Why are you such a mood killer? Come on, you’ll like it.”

 

“I won’t. I’m pretty sure something will bite me if I get in.”

 

“You always do that,” he laughed, inching closer. “You always say you don’t want to try something because you won’t like it and after I convince you to do it you realise just how wrong you were.”

 

Now she stopped checking him out in order to glare at him. Oh, she knew what he was doing. He was baiting her, riling her up in order to get pissed at him and to prove him wrong. Truth be told, he was doing a pretty good job. She was already annoyed with him.

 

“That’s so not true,” she contradicted him.

 

“Yes it is.”

 

“No, it’s not!”

 

“Are you really going to stand there all gloomy or are you going to join me? I promise I won’t let anything bite you. Except me, perhaps.”

 

A soft smile bloomed on his face, replacing the cocky, all-mighty one. He reached a hand up and cupped her cheek, melting her heart, drawing her in. The simplest touch set fire to her skin, left her breathless and in awe — _good gods, how come that he is mine? How come I am not dreaming?_

 

Cassian sees and feels all that, understanding her heart better than she ever could. Finding him was the greatest gift the gods could have granted her, even though he was annoying as hell and sometimes difficult to stand.

 

“I love you,” he says, “but I will not hesitate to sweep you up and threw you in that lake, consequences or not.”

 

Nesta laughed, leaning into his touch.

 

“When did you ever care about the consequences?”

 

“True. Now take your clothes off and come on.”

 

He stepped back and turned his back on her, walking towards the lake. Nesta almost gritted her teeth at the loss of contact, but didn’t say anything. No, glaring at him and imagining him tripping over his feet and falling face-first into the dirt was way better than another verbal spar.

 

The loud splash of water interrupted her malicious thoughts and Nesta watched as Cassian dipped underwater.

 

Holy gods. Nesta knew he wasn’t kidding when he said he’d sweep her up and throw her in he water, but she wasn’t feeling that brave. Cassian saw her in her undergarments only once before, but it was by accident when he walked in on her and Nesta proceeded to throw a book at him — which he dodged with precision, of course.

 

“Why aren’t you here already? Come on, Nes, don’t make me come out and get you!” He shouted once he resurfaced.

 

Nesta loosed a sigh and reached for the back of the dress. Cassian was pretending to clean his wings, but Nesta could feel him watching her, probably wanting to do that for her. Maybe this was payback for today.

 

She turned sideways as she unzipped the dress and slowly, with deliberate moves. Nesta pulled her dress over her head and bit her lower lip. Why the hell didn’t she bother to put on some sexy, flashy lingerie? Maybe even red, to match his Siphons. She’d have to remember that for later.

 

Nerves aside, Nesta couldn’t let her guard down. If he wanted to watch her half naked, then she might as well put on a bit of a show.

 

She carefully folded her dress and went over to the mattress, bending to put it down. His sharp intake of breath could be heard from miles away, bringing a smile to her face. Nesta got on her knees on the soft, plush mattress and started to unbraid her hair, taking her sweet time with it. When she turned over, Cassian wasn’t even pretending that he wasn’t watching her. His lips were set in a firm line and his eyes were ravenous, running up and down her body — particularly her ass. Maybe it was time for her to stop worrying.

 

“Why are you looking me like that?” She asked, trying to sound disinterested as she stood up and turned towards him. His sudden amazement didn’t go unnoticed.

 

“Do you not like it when I look at you like this? You did it quite a lot today,” he replied, still not meeting her gaze.

 

“As if you didn’t like it.”

 

"I think _you_ did more than me."

 

A chill hit her exposed skin and Nesta walked towards the lake. She stepped in, checking its temperature at first, making sure it was not too cold, then took two more steps. The water already reached her knees.

 

Before she could deign to reply, Nesta stepped on something sharp and almost doubled over. The pain hit in a moment later -- enough that it made her yelp and bite her tongue.

 

"What's wrong? Are you alright?"

 

Cassian was at her side at once, supporting her as she raised her leg to examine it. There was a scratch and a little blood, but it looked clean. Nothing remained inside.

 

"I told you," she seethed.

 

"I'm sorry,” he said while gently holding her foot. “I’m really sorry. Do you want to sit down? I can bandage it—“

 

“Cassian.”

 

“Yes?” He looked up at her with wide, panicked eyes.

 

“It’s just a scratch, not a death wound. I was just kidding.”

 

Some of his worry seemed to vanish, although he wouldn’t let go of her. He gently let go of her leg and in one swift motion picked her up and walked further into the water.

 

“Why are you carrying me?”

 

She brought her hands around his neck as the water got deeper and deeper, reaching her bare stomach and the underside of her breasts. She almost hissed at the coolness of it.

 

“Because you’re gravely injured,” he answered, bumping her head into hers. “And because I’m such a gentleman.”

 

Nesta huffed and looked at him with bewilderment.

 

“A what now?”

 

“A gentleman,” he replied, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well, technically a _gentlemale_ , since I’m not human.”

 

“I’m surprised you even know what that means,” she chuckled, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his round ear. “Where did you even learn it?”

 

Cassian shot her an annoyed look before he dumped — _dumped_ — her into the water. The panic Nesta used to feel whenever she got into a bathtub reappeared just for a moment; being surrounded by darkness, not being able to breathe, losing herself in an endless void of nothingness. But this wasn’t the Cauldron. She dug her feet in the sand at the bottom of the lake and pushed herself up, gasping for air as soon as she got out.

 

_I’m going to kill that bastard._

 

Cassian was a few feet away, knowing just how pissed she’d be. Idiot, insufferable coward. Of course he wouldn’t face her like the brave male he though he was.

 

“You idiot!” She yelled, rubbing her eyes.

 

“I changed my mind about being a gentleman. To quote you, _‘we’re just a bunch of brutish Illyrians with no manners and zero respect for the more civilised Fae out there’,_ so why bother?”

 

“I could’ve drowned!”

 

Cassian stopped swimming around and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“As if I’m that lucky.”

 

“You’re carrion,” she said before she lunged for him with Fae speed and pushed him as hard as she could underwater.

 

The satisfaction of taking him by surprise didn’t last long, because Cassian wasn’t going to let her win so easily. Taking hold of both her arms, he pulled her underwater so fast that she barely had time to take a deep breath and squeeze her eyes shut. She felt his arms around her, a comforting gesture which subdued her old fear. They emerged at the same time, both of them breathing heavily.

 

“Just for the record,” he said between heavy breaths, “I didn’t mean that. I wouldn’t let you drown.”

 

“Too bad, because I would without blinking.”

 

“Now you’re just butthurt,” he laughed.

 

A soft breeze blew past her and Nesta looked up. Dozens of fireflies flew around them, some gliding on the surface of the water, making it shimmer in a thousand colour. Bewitched by all of it, Nesta let Cassian to keep her in his arms as she watched the golden light pour on all of them, so bright that it seemed ethereal. And the water — even the water seemed to be glowing too, mimicking the starry night sky so good that a drunken fool wouldn’t be able to tell which is which.

 

Maybe she should play this game with Cassian.

 

“It’s so beautiful here,” she whispered, taking it all in. “Don’t even think of saying ‘ _I told you so.’_ ”

 

“I wasn’t,” he chuckled.

 

With the curiosity and wonder of a child, Nesta looked up at the night sky and admired it. So many bright stars, such a vast world. They were both lucky to be alive and experience everything that this realm had to offer them. To exist was nothing out of the ordinary, but to live -- truly _live_ \-- was a gift. A blessing.

 

She looked at her mate who was already watching her with a soft expression. Gods, she could so easily get lost in those eyes, be tricked by his cheeky smile and intrigued by his silver tongue. A long time ago she would've despised this sort of vulnerability, but now she embraced it. Cherished it. Being so open and bare (figuratively _and_ literary) took off pillars of misery and grief of her chest and forged her into something stronger yet softer. Something much, much better than the ghost she'd left behind in that ruined cottage.

 

"Tell me what you're thinking about," he whispered, leaning his forehead on hers.

 

"I'm thinking," Nesta said as she turned around and wrapped her legs around his torso, "that this almost doesn't feel real. That... that I don't deserve you."

 

Cassian loosed a shaky breath, closing his eyes for a second. Nesta admired his long, dark eyelashes, his nose that took too many punches in his lifetime, his plump lips that made her stomach tighten with want. She traced the bow of his lips with a ghosting touch, from one point to another, charted his sharp jawline and cheekbones back to the back of his head. The blazing fire which consumed her was reduced to embers whenever she was around Cassian, keeping her warm and safe and protected, not threatening her and filling her head with lies.

 

"Please don't ever say that again," he said with longing. "You're all I want. All I will ever need to survive this world. Just you, nothing else."

 

"I almost can't believe how foolish and stupid I was," she laughed, fighting back the tears, "to ever believe that love was a weakness and meant only suffering. I can't believe that it took me so long to realise just how much strength you've given me and how powerful love really is."

 

Cassian leaned more into her touch, sliding his arms around her waist, bringing her closer. The world around them faded into a blur, as if they were the only beings in that realm.

 

"I thought love was a fairytale, a myth. Something only the worthy princes or nobility would have the chance to experience, not low-born bastards like me."

 

A tremor traveled down her spine as he ran his fingers around her back, a comforting yet provoking gesture.

 

"And when I realised that we were mates..." he paused long enough to chuckle and shake his head, watching her with the disbelief of a 5 years old child. "When I realised that my mate was the strongest, smartest and most cunning female in the world I thought I'd have a stroke."

 

Nesta laughed and kissed his brow.

 

"I also thought that I wouldn't survive a day with you, but here we are."

 

"Here we are," she repeated, kissing her way down to his lips.

 

"I love you, Nes," he said as his lips ghosted hers.

 

"I love you too, Cass. With all my black heart."

 

A flood of emotions overcame Nesta as Cassian finally, finally kissed her with enough passion and need that it made her knees tremble. All kisses varied with Cassian; the first ones were gentle, soft, meant for her to explore what she liked and how she liked it. Her own inexperiencewas often a crutch and Cassian made sure to tease her from time to time -- often with innuendos and very, very intriguing promises. When she got the hang of it, Nesta discovered how much it aroused her when Cassian got all territorial and took things to another level. She found comfort in the sweet, slow ones -- but the hard, passionate and sometimes rough ones were her undoing. They were addicting.

 

Nesta bit her bottom lip when Cassian nibbled at her neck, grazing her wet skin with his sharp canines. She was already panting.

 

"I wonder if the rest or you tastes as delicious as your lips and neck do," he drawls, gently biting her skin.

 

A surprised moan escaped her mouth and she dug her nails in his back, losing herself completely. Cassian sucked the skin of her neck and every stroke of his tongue left her breathless, aching and wanting for _more more more._ It didn't matter than they never got the chance to try new things and that Nesta had no idea how to put in practice everything she'd read about; all she wanted was to be touched by her mate and no one else.

 

His hand traveled from her back to the back of her thigh, cupping it and pulling her impossibly closer. Enticed by every sensation and feeling, Nesta took a hold of his hair, tugged his head back and kissed him hard.

 

Cassian's self-control snapped like a stick.

 

A hand trailed from her face and cupped her breast, squeezing it, then did the same with the other. It were her hands that managed to untangle from his hair and unclasp her bra from the back, then she pulled back with great difficulty and watched him with a certain nervousness. _Gods damn it, Nesta, pull yourself together! You had countless dreams about this!_

 

"What if someone sees us?"

 

Cassian brushed a few drops of water from her brow and gave her a wicked smile.

 

"You think I'd allow anyone to see my mate in an uncompromising position?" Cassian asked before he kissed the tip of her nose, his hands replacing hers on her bra. "Although I wouldn't mind if the whole damn world saw the ways in which I'll worship you."

 

Nesta knew that the widening of her eyes and the sudden heat between her legs brought Cassian satisfaction, so she quickly thought of something to say.

 

"For someone who doesn't bother with books or other educational hobbies, you really have a silver tongue."

 

Nesta realised too late the opportunity she just offered him.

 

"Wanna find out what other things my tongue can do?"

 

Sensing that she was about to say something mean, Cassian shut her up with a kiss just as his hands slid up and down her bare arms. It somehow felt more real — being there with him, kissing and touching and delighting in the way her skin seemed to sing whenever Cassian did something to her. The anticipation of what would happen made her heart beat ten times faster.

 

“May I?” He asked, hands ready to pull off her bra.

 

“Yes,” she breathed, barely registering his question.

 

She thought that his love would ruin her — weaken her, make her vulnerable and pathetic. But it didn’t.

 

It made her stronger.

 

It built her up and made her come to terms with her past.

 

As Cassian’s hands slowly pulled off her bra and almost froze in her arms at her sudden nakedness, Nesta realised that it wasn’t wrong that his love made her love herself more. Love came in all forms and shapes and had all sorts of effects — admitting that without his love, support and endless teasings she wouldn’t have been able to enjoy this life as much as she was wasn’t weakness. It was courage.

 

A hand moved from her back to her front and cupped one of her breasts just as Cassian bit her lower lip, eliciting a needy moan from her mouth. _More, more,_ her body sang. _Give me more._

 

And gods above, he did.

 

A new sort of pleasure overcame her as Cassian played with her breasts, pinching her nipples and kissing his way down to them. When his teeth grazed the skin of her breasts and looked up at her, Nesta let her head fall back and closed her eyes.

 

“You have no idea how exquisite you look right now,” he mumbled right before he took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked on it, playing with the other at the same time.

 

Mouth slightly parted and eyes shut tight, Nesta bit her knuckles at the sudden wave of pleasure and the jolt of adrenaline she felt by being seen and touched by her mate like that — those feelings only intensified when he applied more pressure, switching from one to another, their skin glued to each other. She had his hair in fists, pulling slightly from time to time just to hear his low groans and feel him shifting and driving his hips into hers with so much need that it almost undid her.

 

The water splashed when Cassian took hold of her thighs and moved towards the shore, kissing her neck at the same time. Dark spots were dancing before her eyes, making her dizzy from all she was feeling.

 

“If you drop me again...”

 

“I’m not risking anything right now,” he chuckled, taking her earlobe between his teeth and making Nesta squeeze her tights even more so around him. Oh, that bastard.

 

As soon as they reached the shore, Nesta wriggled enough until her feet touched the soft grass and pulled back with great effort. Cassian’s eyes roamed her almost naked body with a ravenous expression.

 

Carefully, as if not to set him off, Nesta took several steps back towards the mattress and stopped when her foot bumped into it. Surprisingly, Cassian didn’t move an inch.

 

“You asked me how much I want you,” Nesta said as she brought her hand to her neck and gingerly touched all the love marks peppered on her skin, then those on her collarbones. “If you thought your own thoughts were inappropriate, your heart would stop dead if you saw mine.”

 

Cassian clenched both his fists as his eyes followed her hand down between her breasts and her navel, stopping just above her underwear. Baiting him was always fun, but this? Oh, this was something else. She felt no shame in being so open before him, knowing just how much Cassian craved her.

 

But oh, how much she craved _him_.

 

Before she could slip her hand in her underwear, Cassian moved; so fast that she barely registered him appear right behind her, placing his broad hand on top of hers and bringing his mouth close to her ear.

 

“Do you want to play, sweetheart?”

 

Nesta didn’t answer, not as he pulled her down with him on the mattress, her back on his chest.

 

“Let’s play, then.”

 

Nesta yelped when his hand replaced hers and slipped in her underwear — hard enough that his moves faltered and almost withdrew.

 

“Do you want me to stop? I can stop, just say the word and—“

 

“No,” she winced. “It’s just...”

 

“Too fast?” He guessed.

 

Nesta nodded, cheeks reddening for the first time. Of course she had no problem to do it herself just to rile him up, but when it came to him doing it... gods above, why was she acting like this? Why now?

 

“I’m sorry,” she muttered.

 

Cassian then removed his hand, placed them on her shoulders and turned her around to face him. There was no judgement or anger in his eyes, only understanding; and love. His handsome features were bathed in a cold light, bringing out the darkness in his eyes and the various tattoos on his chest and arms. She traced one of them with her fingertip, not knowing what to say.

 

“What do you possibly have to be sorry for?” He asked in a soft voice, cupping her cheek and lifting her face up.

 

“For...” she tried — and failed — to swallow the knot in her throat. “For not being so good at this.”

 

“Nes...”

 

“And I don’t want you to tell me that I am, because I know you’ll lie and that you’ll just say it to make me feel better—“

 

“Nesta.”

 

She stopped at his serious tone and looked into his eyes.

 

"You're not an expert and neither am I. You're the first female that I love and above all, my mate. And you know how males are when it comes to making love with their mates," he whispers, hands roaming her bare waist. "All I care about is your pleasure and your comfort, Nes. If you're not comfortable, we can stop."

 

With a deliberately slow move, Cassian strokes the skin of her back, going lower and lower. His touch is soothing, almost reassuring.

 

"No," she manages to say. "Don't stop."

 

And that's when her instincts take over and all her fears from the past are left behind. No more unwanted touches from a human man, no more yells and curses, no more haunting memories.

 

No more.

 

Cassian feels all that, as always, and doesn't protest when she leans forward until she's astride him, her hands running up and down his chest, lips locked until neither could properly breathe. She leaves a trail of unhurried kisses on his jaw just as he takes hold of her and lays her down on the mattress, completely drunk off his touches. Her breath comes out in ragged gasps when she feels his lips on her neck and his hand travelling lower, lower...

 

Then stops.

 

Nesta's eyes open and looks at him in question — perfectly imitating his expression. His desire to go further is unmistakable; but for her, he would wait. He would stop.

 

But that's not what she needs right now.

 

With a less-than-steady hand, Nesta reaches between their bodies, places it on top of his and guides him down, barely touching the hem of her underwear. Her need only grows.

 

"Touch me, Cass," she coaxes him.

 

And he does.

 

His hand slips once more in her underwear but this time, Nesta doesn't flinch or yelp. This time, she's ready and more than wanting. Her back arches when his fingerspart her flesh and finally touches her — and groans at the wetness he finds there.

 

 _Mine mine mine,_ her mind sings.

 

With his head bowed, dark hair shadowing his face like a curtain and an expression filled with both pleasure and determination, Cassian looks like a fallen god. When his middle finger, coated in her wetness, reaches the apex of her thighs and Nesta moans, he looks up to her. Smirks. Then begins his sweet, lovely torture on her.

 

He strokes and rubs that bundle until Nesta's a panting mess, lifting her hips for more friction and focusing on that growing feeling in her stomach. Never has she felt like this — so blissful and euphoric. Certainly not when she was touching herself. Her mate doing it was thrilling.

 

Nesta clasped his arms and pulled him closer to her. A shiver ran down her spine when he leaned down and kissed the shell of her ear.

 

"Only my fingers can make you quiver. Can you imagine what my tongue will do?” He whispers into her mouth, his voice rougher than usual — it only arouses her more.

 

Oh, that sheer arrogance. But damn if he wasn’t right; as her passion built more and more her legs spread on their own accord, making room for him to come in between and give her everything she desired. He made slow motions around her clit, spreading her wetness, playing with her, finding out what she liked. It didn’t come as a surprise to either of them when she let out a disinhibited moan when he bit her neck and applied enough pressure on her clit that it made her see stars (and not the ones on the sky).

 

That golden edge was nearing when Cassian slowly pushed a finger inside her and sucked her nipple with hunger. She expected pain, discomfort, but with his tongue and his other hand rubbing her — no, gods, there was no pain, only pleasure, so much that it blinded her and drove her crazy with wanting. He moved his finger in and out, slowly, while whispering all sorts of sweet nothings and dirty promises in her ear.

 

Nesta was fighting to keep her eyes open and look at her mate when all that pent-up pressure bursted into waves of pleasure, taking over her body. Her whimpers turned into loud moans as her orgasm shattered her from within, succumbing her into an euphoric state.

 

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he groaned in her ear, picking up the pace.

 

“Oh gods, oh gods, Cassian,” Nesta repeated over and over, lost in her pleasure.

 

And yet, he didn’t stop. Her legs started to shake by the time her orgasm was over and he was still at it, drawing lazy circles around her clit with a smirk on his face, making her squirm under him. No, she was way too sensitive right now, her body wouldn’t be able to—

 

“You didn’t think I’d stop at just one tiny orgasm, did you?”

 

“Cass,” she tried to say in a serious voice, but it came out needy. Great.

 

He started his descent slowly, leaving a trail of soft kisses on her breasts, stomach, navel, stopping right above her soaked underwear. Nesta could do nothing but watch with her lower lip between her teeth as he buried his nose in her underwear, making herjerk; _too sensitive, too much, too soon._

 

A single look from him told Nesta that no, he didn’t want to stop.

 

He kissed her inner thighs as he took off her underwear, taking his sweet time.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, “all spread out like this, just for me.”

 

“Don’t get cocky,” she managed to say.

 

She heard him chuckle just as her underwear came off completely and he took hold of her hips, prepared to keep her in place.

 

“Look at me, love.”

 

Nesta reached above her, grabbed the first pillow that she could find and placed it behind her head so she could see Cassian cast her the most ravenous look that promised only trouble. Before she could say anything, he dipped and licked a long stripe almost lazily, setting her off. He kept her in place and smirked.

 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a really, really long time.”

 

A sudden gasp escaped her mouth as Cassian licked her there, making her head spin and back arch. She didn’t even know or care what sounds she made; all she could think about was his tongue on and inside her, eating her out, holding her down so that she could not even flinch. Lost in a state of pure ecstasy and the uncomfortable sensation from her previous orgasm, Nesta tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled, earning another groan from him.

 

While Cassian tortured her with his tongue and watched her with predatory intent, he showed her through the bond all that he wanted to do to her; and even though his hold wasn’t rough and the fingers that found their way to her core were extremely gentle, Nesta trembled at the promise of her under him, legs on his shoulders, gasping, screaming, craving, tears rolling down her cheeks from too much pleasure, the perfect picture of his fantasies. They shifted, with her on top, riding him slowly while his hands held her breasts and played with them, then Cassian taking her from behind and keeping both her arms behind her as he thrusted into her. She almost came again when Cassian sent her an image of him pushing her against a wall, legs wrapped around him, arms held above her head, then — gods above — her splayed on the bed, hands tied to the bedpost, blindfolded and completely at his mercy as he teased her entrance with his hard cock, coating it with her wetness...

 

But what unravelled her were his low moans that sent vibrations all throughout her body and forced her to have another devastating orgasm. This time, Nesta’s moans turned into screams as she managed to lift her hips and ride his face, two of his fingers curling inside her and touching the exact place that made her cry out. She had no idea how long it took for her to ride it all out, but by the time she felt the same discomfort and Cassian didn’t look ready to stop, Nesta nudged away from him.

 

“Stop, stop,” she panted, covered in sweat.

 

With a final taunting kiss, Cassian stopped, raising himself until he was on top of her and pulled her into a long kiss. Holy Mother, she could taste herself on his lips. When was the last time her heart beat so fast?

 

“I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that both my legs are sore.”

 

“Only your legs?” He grinned.

 

Nesta placed both her hands on his chest and pushed him until she could sit in his lap again, feeling his hardened length with her pussy. She reached out and ran her finger across the leathery skin of his wing, making him groan, push harder against her. It seemed to open on its own accord, begging for more of her touch. With a satisfied smile on her face, Nesta obliged.

 

* * *

 

 

This woman was going to drive him mad.

 

This — This she-devil, wicked and wonderful female had Cassian wrapped around her little finger and she was gods-damned aware of it. The ghosting touch of her slender fingers on his wings sent jolts of pleasure and excitement all throughout his body, awakening him, urging him to kiss her, take her, bury himself in her and satisfy every need she had.

 

“Nesta,” he sighed, dropping his head on her shoulder.

 

“Do you want me to stop?” She asked in a light voice, making it obvious that she enjoyed this as much as she did.

 

“Please don’t,” he almost whimpered.

 

He moaned when her finger reached a particular sensitive spot and clutched her glorious hips.

 

“Oh, it seems I found your spot,” she whispered before her warm lips kissed the skin behind his ear and then his jaw, making his cock twitch. He needed her so much it hurt — and wanted to say just that when her right hand rubbed against his undershorts, her moves slow yet certain.

 

“Fucking hell,” her moaned again, taken aback by her sudden bravery. He hoped it never went away.

 

The world stopped when that damn hand slipped inside and touched him properly for the first time. A ragged groan left his mouth when she took his hardened length in her small hand and took it out, running her fingers curiously over the very sensitive skin. She dragged her thumb over the head and flicked it, cutting his breath short.

 

Mother’s tits, he could die from this. Would gladly die, with his female on top of him, pleasuring him so thoroughly. The Illyrian in him wanted nothing more than to pounce on her as soon as he sensed her arousal — dripping wet just from touching him.

 

As her fingers scraped that sensitive spot on his wing and her hand worked his cock, Cassian could think of nothing but her scent, her warm heat around his fingers and tongue, her sweet moans that stirred something deep inside of him. Half of his pleasure came from pleasuring her, but sensing the same in her drove him wild.

 

Still, he wanted to come inside Nesta, not in her hand.

 

Before he could make the move to switch positions, Nesta pushed him on his back, taking him by surprise.

 

“It’s my turn now,” she grinned devilishly right before she bowed and holy fucking hell, ran her tongue across the head of his cock.

 

“Fuck,” he moaned, grasping the blankets so tight his knuckles turned white. “ _Fuck, fuck, fuck.”_

 

Nesta looked up to him with endless amusement as she opened her mouth and took him in her mouth.

 

It took him a lot of self-control not to cum as soon as she started to bob her head up and down, licking him and gripping with her hand what she couldn’t fit in her mouth. Cassian threw his head back and shuddered. He drove his hips upward despite himself and bit his lip so hard that he almost drew blood.

 

She licked him until he was the one groaning and moaning, desperate for release. The sensation of being in her mate’s mouth was overwhelming and heavenly. He couldn’t wait to find out how being inside her felt.

 

When Cassian looked at her once more and saw her hand between her legs, touching herself to him, he snapped.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It came as no surprise when Cassian pulled out from her mouth as soon as he saw her touching herself and flipped them over, and yet she yelped in surprise. The sudden loss of him in her mouth left her panting, needing to taste more of him, hear his moans that almost made her cum again—

 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he breathed, parting her legs and positioning himself between them.

 

She shook her head and gasped when his fingers entered her without warning, stretching her open. His mouth captured her in a hungry kiss as his pace fastened, her body yearning for more.

 

“Please,” she whimpered on his lips, barely keeping her eyes open.

 

“Please what, sweetheart?” He teased her, curling his fingers.

 

Nesta knew exactly which words would be his undoing, so she managed to raise herself a bit to whisper in ear:

 

“Make love to me, Cass,” she drawled. “Claim me. Ravish me. I’m yours.”

 

Oh, the look on his face was priceless. It took him less than two seconds to take his fingers out of her quivering pussy, lick them while looking straight in her eyes and then rubbed his hard cock against her heat.

 

“You’re mine,” he said, voice hoarse.

 

“Yes,” she managed to say.

 

“And I’m yours ‘til the end of times.”

 

The head of his cock nudged against her entrance and when he finally entered her, Nesta gasped.

 

Slowly, way too slowly, Cassian moved.

 

Deeper.

 

Deeper.

 

Deeper.

 

She winced at the sudden jolt of pain and Cassian stilled immediately, searching her face with both concern and restraint.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he said over and over again, peppering her face with soft kisses while his fingers starting rubbing her clit in slow motions.

 

He did that while he remained inside her, not moving but waiting; waiting for her to give him the signal to move. The uncomfortable sensation started to fade bit by bit so she moved against his cock, taking him deeper. Cassian took the hint and his hips met hers, muscles strained and eyes closed.

 

“You feel... So heavenly around me,” he confessed, still touching her.

 

It only made her move again and again, the pain and pleasure mixing and becoming something so incredibly exhilarating and euphoric that it made her moan louder and louder. Cassian drank every sound she made with his lips and tongue, quickening his pace but remaining gentle at the same time. It cleaved her soul in two and filled it with so much love that it almost brought tears to her eyes.

 

She looked down at where they were joined and bit her lip. Her mate was inside her and it felt so good, filling her up, moving in and out. He felt so large and hard, hitting spots that made her cry out and drag her nails across his back, marking him.

 

“Faster, faster,” she urged him,

 

He didn’t need to be told twice.

 

He sat back, spread her legs as far as they’d go and thrusted into her with more force. His thumb continued to flick and circle her clit while he raked his eyes up and down her naked body with such lust and adoration that it made her see spots. Deeper, faster, dragging her pleasure until she cried out from it, feeling her orgasm nearing.

 

“Come for me, Nesta,” he said between his own groaning.

 

Her undoing were his moans and the way he looked at her, keeping her legs open just for him, fucking her, thrusting into her hard, long and deep enough that it drove her to that golden edge once more. Once he felt her reaching her orgasm he leaned over and kissed her, never breaking his rhythm.

 

“Cass,” she whined right before the orgasm hit her in full force.

 

She bit his lip so hard that she could taste his blood on her tongue when that pleasure erupted and seized control of her body, clearing her mind of all thoughts but _him, him, him—_

 

The pleasure was so intense that she cried out, legs shaking and body convulsing with such force that it brought tears to her eyes. She heard Cassian groan and with another few hard thrusts he came too, her name on his lips like a prayer.

 

When her orgasm subsided Nesta opened her eyes and looked at her mate as he came, admiring his pleasured expression, memorising every feature. The sounds he made, the way his muscles flexed and trembled, doing more so when she reached up and grazed that sensitive spot on his wings until he could no longer move.

 

She stopped only when he kissed her and pulled out of her. The kiss was unhurried and slow; neither of them had any more energy.

 

“Are you alright? Does anything hurt? I’m sorry if I pushed it too far,” he began apologising, looking at her with concern.

 

How could someone be so damn hot one second and unbelievably adorable the second? It seemed like something only Cassian could pull off.

 

“I’m fine, Cass. More than fine.”

 

“You sure?”

 

She pinned him with a look that said enough, then gave him a short peck on his nose.

 

“Very much so.”

 

Cassian stood on his knees in all his naked glory — _fuck_ , he really had an effect on her — and grabbed one of the blankets, pulling it over them both. Still breathing hard, Nesta rolled on her stomach and looked at her mate, who was watching her with his head in his palm.

 

“What?” She asked.

 

“I love you so, _so_ much,” he confessed, “and I still can’t believe this happened.”

 

“Was I... good?”

 

Cassian offered her a soft smile and kissed her forehead.

 

“I’m surprised you still need to ask. Your licking skills are unparalleled, sweetheart,” he chuckled.

 

Before she could answer, a few laughs jerked her awake.

 

_Holy gods, no, they couldn’t find her like this — she was naked! Both of them were naked!_

 

Cassian turned his head towards the sound of their laughs and groaned in exasperation.

 

“Wonderful,” he mumbled. “Before you say anything, don’t worry, no one will see you naked.”

 

A loud booming noise reverberated through the earth and the approaching Fae shrieked with shook. Nesta raised herself on her elbows and saw a massive red shield thrown right before them, stopping them from passing over. She watched as they backed away with indignation, their voices lost in the night.

 

“That was impressive,” she admitted.

 

“You wanna know what else is impressive?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Wrong answer.”

 

His hands slipped under her and brought her on top of him with no effort. Nesta huffed but didn’t fight it when his strong hands started to massage her back.

 

“Are you hungry?” He asked, kneading her muscles with precision.

 

Nesta just shook her head, too lost in the feeling to speak.

 

“Good, because I’m still not done with you.”

 

This time, Nesta was prepared. She raised herself from him before he could blink and took a few steps back on the grass, looking at him with amusement.

 

“You were saying?” She laughed.

 

Oh, his expression was _priceless_. With an irritated groan he looked at her, his wings flaring wide open between him.

 

“You really wanna play this game, Nes? Because you know I can always catch you.”

 

Her legs touched the cold water of the lake and yet she didn’t stop. The way he looked at her made her thighs clench, and when he stood up and started to walk towards her she could feel her desire grow.

 

And so did his, apparently.

 

“So that mating frenzy thing is actually true,” she said, going farther in the lake.

 

Cassian’s piercing stare awakened the fire inside her. Still, she didn’t stop. The water reached her hips.

 

“Oh yes, but I doubt my desire for you will ever subdue.”

 

“Let’s see if you can catch me first.”

 

Nesta ran laughing into the deep water while her mate accepted the challenge and charged towards her.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you guys think? Let me know!  
> Chapter 2 will be up soon!


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